


The wrong idea

by Iliketowrite_2



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, One Shot, Overdose, Reader Insert, Supernatural - Freeform, attempted suicide, depressed reader, mentions of cheating, throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 16:45:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10365030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iliketowrite_2/pseuds/Iliketowrite_2
Summary: The reader notices how Misha has been acting distant and strangely towards her for a few weeks, when her mind goes to the worst case scenario, what extreme measure does she take to make sure she isn't in any more pain? And what was Misha actually doing?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Requests are open! I hope you enjoy! Please leave a comment if you would like to :)

You'd met the love of your life on the set of Supernatural four years ago and it's been amazing ever since. But for the past few weeks, things have changed. Misha and you had been dating for three and a half years. Each and every day was spent with one another on set and everything, in your eyes, had been perfect. Until recently. Misha had been acting distant for the past few weeks and honestly? It scared the hell out of you. Usually, you'd both go home after shooting to snuggle and watch children's movies and sip on some wine. Some days, you'd even go down to a quiet, reserved restaurant for a nice candlelit dinner. The two of you were joined at the hip ever since you started dating. He was always so caring and such a gentleman to you, always wanting to be around. But not anymore. And you couldn't help but think it was your fault. 

You had suspicions but you never brought them up in the rare times you did see him. Even though he acted happily, you couldn't help that lingering feeling in the back of your mind, telling you it was all a mask. To be one hundred percent honest, you thought he was cheating. I mean, he's been away all the time, he makes up excuses to avoid you, he won't come home and cuddle with you, he can't even look at you without having an emotion you've never seen on him before the past few weeks. For the first few days, you pushed it away, claiming he was just over-working and tired. But after a week, when you first had the thought of him with another woman, your heart shattered. Had Misha been cheating on you? Were you not good enough? I thought things were perfect?

It's been three weeks. Three long, and utterly terrifying weeks, and nothing had changed. You were hurt. You'd never felt so broken and unloved in your entire life. The one person you loved the most, didn't love you back. Probably never did. You have no place in his life anymore. You're not important. God Y/n, how could you be so stupid! Someone as amazing and talented as Misha loving you? You're so naive. He doesn't love you. No one loves you. Even the directors are thinking of killing off your character on the show. Maybe they knew, and this was their way to show you, you don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere. 

Picking up your phone, you scroll down your contacts and stop on Bob, your director, and send him a quick text.   
Y/n: Hey Bob, I want to thank you for the past few years of filming, it's been the best experience of my life. Unfortunately, I will not be coming back for the next season. Please talk to the writers about killing off my character. Thank you for everything the past few years. Yours sincerely, Y/n.  
Bob: What? Y/n why?  
Y/n: I'm sorry, I don't have time to explain. I have to go. See ya around, Bob. 

You put your phone down and ignored the next few notifications from your phone, knowing who they were from. You didn't want to explain. You were too tired to explain. You stood from your place on the couch and headed upstairs to the bathroom. You knew what you needed to do. There was no question. You had lived with depression for your whole life, but when the whole cast of supernatural became some of your best friends, and Misha became the love of your life, everything seemed to get better. It was never completely gone, you had your bad days, but Misha was always there to help you through. But now he wasn't. You just wanted it to be over. 

You needed it to be over...

You wrote a quick letter to Misha, knowing he'd wonder why you did this. 

'My dearest Misha,  
I'm so sorry I had to leave you like this. I love you with all my heart, even if you don't feel the same. I've tried so hard to try and be good enough but it doesn't seem to make a difference, does it? Did you think I wouldn't notice? You've been avoiding me for weeks and anytime you're near me, you act strangely. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I tried. But I'm too tired to keep trying. If you wanted another girl, you should have told me. I figure that's the only reason you be acting like...this. Listen to me. I love you, with all my heart and soul and every second I spent with you was absolutely perfect. But I can't do it anymore. Never blame yourself for this baby, please. I'm so sorry, I'll miss you so much. I hope you find a woman who loves you and treats you well, well enough so you don't have to hook up with other women, too.   
Goodbye my almost lover,  
With all my love,  
Y/n.'

You wiped the tears from your face and from the crumpled page. You gently place it on the counter next to you whilst you reach for the bottle of pills in the drawer with your other hand. You type a quick group text to Jared, Jensen, and Mark.

'I love you boys so much, and I will miss you for the rest of my life. Please know that this is not your fault and that it wasn't Mishas, either. You guys have made my life so amazing and full of joy, but there come a time where I need to make my decision. And now I've made it. I love you all so, so much. Take care of each other. Especially Misha.   
Love,  
Y/N'

Sent....  
Ding  
Ding  
Ding  
Ding  
*phone call*  
Ding  
Ding   
*phone call*   
*phone call*  
Ding   
Ding  
*phone call*  
Ding  
Ding  
Ding   
Ding

You didn't touch or look at the phone after that, knowing that if you did, you wouldn't be able to go through with this. You sat there for what felt like hours before you slowly opened the cap of the pill bottle and tipped its contents into your hand. One by one you swallowed the pills, feeling completely void of emotion. Your tears were gone and you felt nothing. Probably because you were nothing. You had finished the bottle and laid against the wall, waiting for the darkness to take you. Your eyes had closed and you began to feel like you were high, like you were distant. Floating on a cloud. But the fog seemed to clear a little bit when you heard the front door downstairs being broken down. People were calling your name, although you couldn't figure out who as you continued to drift further and further away from reality. You heard you name one more time, louder and clearer, before your body slouched and you released your last breath. You were free.

Or so you thought. You quickly awakened with the burning feeling of vomit and bile coming from your throat, being continuously initiated by a set of fingers. You heaved, arching your back and watching as your sick ran down the sink of the bathtub. You felt the fingers pushing down your throat again and started to struggle against them, bringing your weak hand up and trying to push the, away. But to no avail. Your stomach lurched again as it continued to empty its contents into the drain. At this moment, you realised you had failed. You couldn't even kill yourself right. Harsh sobs started to rip themselves from your body and you flailed in the arms of whoever was holding you. You put up a damn good fight for someone who had just overdosed, but eventually, you gave in to the warmth of the arms that had been holding you. You dropped your head back onto a firm chest as you cried everything out. These weren't cute little whining cries, these were full on whaling-screaming- sobs, tearing themselves from your chest. It was in no way beautiful. Your eyes became heavy and your body was drained. You started to fall into a restless sleep, just as you heard the sirens of an ambulance approaching. 

You groaned as you opened your eyes and were met with a blinding white light. You rubbed your eyes sleepily and yawned, and within that short time, a crowd of people were by your bedside, one of those people being Misha.  
"Oh my god, Y/n." Misha sobbed, quickly grabbing you into his arms and burying his face into the crook of your neck. You remember everything that happened, and immediately you feel guilt and pain wash over you in a heavy wave.   
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Misha. I-.." You didn't know what to say that could make it better. So you didn't say anything after that. You only let him cry on you, as you cried along with him. The others had left your room, allowing the two of you to have time to talk. After a few minutes, he spoke up.   
"Baby, Y/n, sweetheart, who would you do this? I love you so much. I almost lost you. I read- I read your letter baby. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you weren't loved. I love you so much, I could never explain. I was scared to death when the guys showed me the text message you sent them. God I love you Y/n/n. I know this is a shitty time to tell you this, but I was acting like that because... Maybe I should just show you..." He gave you a sad smile and reached into his back pocket. Your eyes went wide as he bent down onto one knee and pulled out a small box, opening it to reveal a beautiful, princess cut ring.   
"Oh no.." You whispered. Not because you didn't want to marry this beautiful man, but because you were stupid enough to try and kill yourself thinking he was cheating! When he was planning a proposal!   
"Y/n. I've loved you since the day I met you. We've dated for over three years now, and I've realised I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know there will be ups and downs, but if I get to spend the rest of my days with you, it will all be worth it. I want to wake up and see your beautiful bed head in the morning. I want to spend everyday in complete awe of you. I want to be your best friend, but also your husband. Y/n, I love you. And I know I always will. I will help you through the hard times and make sure to smile more during the good ones. You already make me the happiest man alive, so let me return the favour. Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, will you make my life, the best it could possibly be, and become my wife?"   
Your eyes were freely watering in pure joy. You stared at him in the eyes as he spoke, never once looking away. You cover your face and tearily laugh whilst nodding your head.   
"Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes!" You cried, jumping up from the hospital bed and wrapping your arms around him and crying into his shoulder. You heard the cheers and claps of the others that had snuck back in during his proposal. 

You pulled back, watery smile on your face as he wiped away the tears. You giggled as he put the ring on your finger and kissed your hand. You both came in for a passionate and heartfelt kiss, pouring every emotion you could possibly have for each other into the kiss. You pulled back, tears still in your eyes.   
"I love you."  
"I love you too Y/n."


End file.
